Streams of Consciousness… Beware of wordiness*!

Lately, I’ve been having dreams (duh?…everyone does!) which are bothering me from within. The thing is, I’ve always had dreams about the "coming-home" of my biological dad (hehe). It’s just so confusing coz in one of my dreams about him, he’s well-mannered, then on the other he’s his usual jacob’s-syndrome-like self (can i say that?..ehehe).

Rumor has it that he’ll be coming home this December…another commotion?! (hehe) Will it be another dreadful Christmas??..or has he changed?

I feel affection for my pop…but there are really times (all the time) that he acts like The Hulk and goes ballistic! he gets jealous over certain people which he thinks has a coveted relationship with my blabber-mouthed mom (mom’s are like that, aren’t they?..hehehe..but I love them both….weehee!). Let me list down his suspects:

1. school guard

2. barangay officials

3. neighbors

4. jeepney driver

5. family friends

6. et. al.

……….do u see? My mom (his wife) is not a whore for crying out loud!

I think he just feels inferior….insecure somehow…*sigh*…

…Pop, what’s going on inside ur head?………………………………………..

P.S.

I sure do hope it’s not hereditary!!!! (i wouldn’t want to act like that…hehe…goodness gracious!) ^_^

Someone wanted me to listen to this song by Yellowcard..and it’s actually deep and emotional (at least, that’s what i think). You should read the lyrics…it’s waaaay righteous!  But this doesn’t apply  to my  paternal relationship, though…it’s the opposite..weird, i know.

What’s a dad for dad?
Tell me why I’m here dad
Whisper in my ear that I’m growing up to be a better man, dad
Everything is fine dad
Proud that you are mine dad
Cause I know I’m growing up to be a better man

Father I will always be
That same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me
Now I’m older I wanna be the same as you

What’s a dad for dad?
Taught me how to stand, dad
Took me by the hand and you showed me how to be a bigger man, dad
Listen when you talk, dad
Follow where you walk, dad
And you know that I will always do the best I can
I can

Father I will always be (always be)
That same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me (over me)
Now I’m older I wanna be the same as you
The same as you

Father I will always be
That same boy that stood by the sea
And watched you tower over me
Now I’m older I wanna be the same as you

(When I am a dad, dad
I’m gonna be a good dad
Do the best you could, dad
Always understood, dad
Taught me what was right, dad
Opened up my eyes, dad
Glad to call you my, dad
Thank you for my life, dad)

…….nevertheless, my dad, thanks for giving me life…bwahahaha…

Ok, MY luck actually…i woke up on that seemingly-wondrous day truly believing that i’d have the kind of MONDAY that i really deserve (nyahaha..i deserve the best..don’t i deserve the best?! Nyahaha)…

…everything went out perfectly well…i woke up early without having to hear the monotonous whines of my demented lil brother (i love him..he’s cute when he acts hystercial), a person that i know of paid for my fare (that’s so sweet of him), i was smiling the whole way to the school…i wasn’t late for my first period (which was History 3), nakasabay ko ung crush ko (who was, like, a year younger than me by the way, ESET student, City High graduate — hehe..living out the pedophilial lifestyle!! — totally kidding!), where was i?–oh yeah…do u see?…everything’s fine..everything WAS fine until…

….(background music from the interpretation of The Tell-Tale Heart) when I attended my 3rd period which was English 9 (major: Technical Writing yadah-yadah-yadah)… don’t get me wrong, i absolutely dig the teacher. She’s nice and all, she isn’t at all that boring…she’s good. it’s the "environment" which i do not like and totally altered (more like shattered) the homeostatic-utopia-verisimilitude-feel of the moment…that stupefying environment which made my blood run cold (dah?! psychopathic killer!..*evil laugh*)..

"Brazen curses!"…i banish you to the underworld!

Nyahaha..but it’s all in the past now…i’m good.