Streams of Consciousness… Beware of wordiness*!

Imagine yourself leaving a place which has molded you into a person of broader perspectives and higher maturity. Upon leaving, the only souvenir you have with you are the memories stored in your mind which are subject to being forgotten and being buried into oblivion. How would you be able to rekindle the past and realize what you have become?

            For many years, TADMAN has been able to uphold its calling in preserving and immortalizing the annual memories, experiences, and achievements of IITians. It has journeyed a great mile and it has also matured a great deal along the way.

            Derived from a Maranao term meaning ‘memoirs’, it has stayed true to its goals even when its publication was put to a halt after its very first release in 1977. For a short while, it was brought back in 1979 but the students were not mandated to compel into paying for it. The following year, an unfortunate event led to the paralysis of TADMAN when the publication house in Cagayan de Oro hired to process the yearbook was burnt down. All efforts made by the staffers and personnel for the completion of the yearbook back then were reduced to ashes. This had put TADMAN in a coma. It had stayed in this unconscious state for over more than a decade. In 1992, attempts in bringing it back were once again brought up. But the people had already lost interest.

            In 1994, the 25^th Silver Jubilee Anniversary on the founding of the institution, Director Melvin Roscom brought up in a meeting, presided by Dr. Marcelo Salazar, the institute yearbook’s final revival. There was an unenthusiastic reply to this proposal at first. But the director fought for its comeback and placed his name’s credibility on the line. And so, after exerting a few more efforts, the proposal was realized.

            The payment for the 1994 yearbook was subsidized. So, students only had to pay 50% of the original cost. The other half was paid using the money intended for the Silahis publication.

            Headed by Prof. Nancy Echavez (still a student back then) as Editor-in-Chief and moderated by faculty member Dr. Anthony An-Lim, TADMAN was once again back on track.

After a hiatus in 1995, TADMAN has been released every year from then on. That is why, all of us should give credit to Dir. Melvin Roscom for having the courage to revive the yearbook publication even when everybody was doubtful about it. He believed in the importance of TADMAN to all the students. He believed in what it is capable of doing.

Throughout the years, TADMAN has been seen fronting a diversity of covers, themes, and motifs cunningly crafted by the hands and imaginations of selected yearbook staffers. It has traveled far; from the use of simple layout techniques to the use of more sophisticated contemporary designs and styles.

TADMAN will never cease in pursuing what it was destined to do. It is a carefully laden craft. It is something fought for. It is a legacy. It is MSU-IIT itself. Each page, a memento of it. Indeed, it has traveled far and it will forge ahead for as long as the institution exists but will still live on even if it no longer does.

<sigh>… While we were at the arcade trying out the bumper cars, singing our vocal chords out, and quenching our thirst for fun, I spotted this really really really really really rally really (I can go on saying this forever…or not) cute kid with his lola. I just couldn’t stop staring and smiling at him. He’s soooooo adorable and cuddly and cute! His fingers are so tiny! His eyes are very chinito and his skin is so white and fair! <sobs>..huhuhuhu… I managed to talk to his lola about him and took photos of us together. Ehehehe..I have good PR! Nyahaha… He’ll be turning four this coming June 11th! I wonder what he’ll be like when he grows up? Will I ever see him again?…*my pedophile senses are tingling*… =P

On that thought (not on the pedophilia), doesn’t life seem weird? We bump into random people all the time. For a second or two, we are in other people’s worlds…but we never play a permanent role in all of them. This is too emotional for me. I’m spooked out by myself, too. Because I never want to be evanescent. I linger on the brief moments in which I was destined to be given in the lives of those whom I wish I’m a permanent part of…until loss of memory takes over…

"sitting on my lap"

A friend of mine said that although most of us miss out on the big prizes (The Pulitzer, The Nobel, Oscars, Tonys, Grammys, etc.), we should already be contented for having life’s small pleasures…

….like a pat on the back;

………a good word;

………a hug;

………a full moon;

………a glorious sunset;

………an empy parking space;

………a great meal;

………a good joke;

………a hot soup;

………a cold drink;

………an ice cream.

So, said she, we shouldn’t fret about missing life’s grand rewards.

ARE YOU KIDDING??!!! Why shouldn’t we fret abou it?! Wouldn’t it be more peachy if we had grand rewards AND enjoy life’s simple pleasures at the same time?? Everyone can experience all those minute blessings. They’re universal! Those shimmering awards, on the other hand, are given to special people. People who have surpassed something and excelled! Think big! Be a dreamer…but not to the point of standing on the spot of being too ambitious. Try waking up most of the time and turn your "ideal" into something that’s "REAL"! We must remember that it is a human being’s responsibility to excel (uhhhyeahhh…no pressure there! =P)!!!

P.S.

I’ll have you know that I am currently setting my eyes on the Grammys (specifically on the Best New Artist category). I even have an acceptance speech drafted already!..hehehe!

White seated beneath the blue; a pair of almonds, on a pale face, slightly askew…

Big strong palms assure security and benevolence; one folds and slowly sways…

And black strands of straw held up by the wind as white seated on blue passes by…

You’re a danger whom someone is slowly addicted to.

Everytime I see blue and white, that someone knows it’s you.

It’s you.

I was at a cafe the other night after reporting for duty at the Tadman office. For about more than an hour of surfing the net, I was shivering cold (I felt like I was about to have a frost bite). I was just bidding goodbye to a "jerk"/slightly friend at Yahoo Messenger when I heard someone say a discreet "hi" behind my ear (not soft enough not to be noticed but loud enough for me to hear him).

"Hi," said the stranger, smiling at me. Giving out a puzzled grin, I faced him and then stared back at the monitor. I thought he would leave but he never did. The next thing I know, he was introducing himself.

"Ila-ila sa diay ta. Ako diay si Skills, taga-st. michael’s college. Taga-iit ka ba? Unsa imo pangalan? (I’m Skills, of St. Michael’s College. Are you from IIT? What’s your name?)", he asked while stretching out a hand. I could smell the stench of liquor emanating from his mouth.

Puzzled still, I answered back, "Oo (Yeah)." Then he asked where I lived. If I originally am from Iligan City. I lied, sensing that he might be a mugger or of some sort. The smell of gin bothered me.

After a brief moment of silence, he said, "Pwede ta mag-date? (Can we go out on a date?)"…..hmmm…I became suspicious. I said, "Ngano diay (Why?)"

He replied, "Ganahan lang ko. Sige na, date ta (I just want us to. Come on, let’s go out on a date)."

I said, "Ha? Dili lang ko. (No, I don’t want to)."

"Sige na gud. Ah, basin gusto nimo kanang gamay ra tawo? Sige, magcheck-in nalang ta. Sa Famous Pension House ta, oh. 300 ra man (Come on. Ah, maybe you want us to be in a place exclusive for the two of us. Why don’t we check in at Famous Pension House? It’s cheap. Only P300.00)."

I got nervous. I could feel my whole body shivering (and it’s not just because of the airconditioning!)! I stood up. Decided to leave the place. BAD MOVE!

He followed me. Put his arm on my shoulder (like some old acquaintance) and called me ‘Lip (my nickname, how dare he). I felt like Hansel (no, wait..i mean Gretel) when he (uhhh..she) got lost in the woods. I didn’t know what to do. He kept on touching me. My shoulders, my back, my butt…

"Sige na bah. Ganahan bitaw ko. 12 inches man ni akoa. Iyoton tika ug maayo. Di ka magmahay sa ako (Come on. I wanna do it. My cock is 12 inches long. I’ll have sex with you till we run out of juice <sounds familiar Kim? hehe>)," said he in a nonchalant casual manner of speaking.

"Dili jud lage ko. Pangita lang ug lain. Wala ko’y kuwarta. Adto sa uban (I really don’t want to. Go find other "clients". I have no money)," i remarked.

"Basin gusto nimo mag-inom sa ta? Tara, inom sa ta! Ge na gud. Duol ra bitaw ang Caprice diri (Maybe you wanna go grab a beer first? Let’s go! Caprice Inn is just around the corner)," said the varmint.

"Dili ko muinom. Ayaw lang ako beh. Wala ba diay kay tarong nga trabaho? Pangita ug tarong na trabaho oi (I don’t drink. Please go find somebody else. Don’t you have a proper job? Why don’t you find one?)," I said in a shaky voice, trying to sound friendly.

"Wala jud. Kani ra. Sige na. Sa amo ta mag-iyot. Sa Pala-o. Or sa inyo. Ge na (Nope, I don’t. This is what I do. Come on. We’ll do it at my place in Pala-o. Or, if you want, we can do it at your place)."

"Sorry, dili jud ko. Baynte ra akong kuwarta dire. Taga-an nalang tika ug baynte dayon hawa na dayon. Mao ra jud ni ako kuwarta (I’m sorry, I don’t want to. I only have 20 pesos. I’ll give it to you so that you’ll go away)," I said while handing him the money, trying to reach into a compromise.

He hesitated, asked one final time, "Dili jud ka? Sure ka? (You really don’t want to? Are you sure?)." I quickly nod my head more than thrice for emphasis. He held the bill in his hands and said, "Tara, ipasakay tika (Let’s go. I’ll accompany you until you get a ride)."

"No, ayaw na. Okay ra," said I, feeling nearly alright.

"Sure?"

"Oo. Okay ra lage."

He turned his back and I quickly half-ran-half-walked away to the opposite direction. Finally!!!! Heart-throbbing….throat slowly recovering from the dampness brought about by nervousness.

….Good men are really hard to find.

…looking at that man in white whom I barely know, i feel warmth

seldom walks around like a totem pole; prefers sitting down like a meditating pale monk..

riding carefully on that swift hue glistening blue under the sun, crown covered by an oblate…

…yes, i remember that man. i think of him often — more in my dreams ever since his mouth opened and the wind uttered "hi" to my ears…

…i see him in front of me..not in a mocking or morbid pose…and I kept on hearing that word…

..now he haunts.

It’s amazing what numbers could do to you… They did me a really great favor!

My dad having the same birth date as  my major crush and love interest (i’m talking about unreciprocated love here — what else is new?) really opened my eyes. Justice isn’t at all that blind! Haha!

…I now declare the 5th of May as GOOD-FOR-NOTHING JERKS DAY!!!

Not just one unimaginable brute, but two of them! They make quite an impossible lot! And I shall forever wait for the day when these lower-than-scum creations would be subjected to annihilation. Hmmm….The future isn’t that far away, I suppose.

Hehe…Wow, this is like rebirth all over again! I’m a roman catholic who’s been born again!!!

But I’ll forever love these two jerks. i don’t know. The first one, because I think I am left with no choice but to love him; the second, i choose to love. I still wish they were dead, though…Hehehe… (thank goodness for Missy Higgins! Her latest songs help cleanse my soul….ows??)…

You two, stay out of the country.